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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting
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The pie charts illustrate the proportions of British
students
Use synonyms
 at a university in England who could speak languages other than English in 2000 and 2010. In 2000, 20% of
students
Use synonyms
 were monolingual,
while
Linking Words
 the remaining 80% spoke at least one additional
language
Use synonyms
. Among these, 30% could speak Spanish, making it the most common second
language
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. French was spoken by 15% of
students
Use synonyms
, followed by German,
also
Linking Words
 at 15%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, 10% of
students
Use synonyms
 spoke two other languages,
while
Linking Words
 10% spoke another unspecified
language
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. By 2010, the percentage of monolingual
students
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 decreased to 10%. Spanish remained the most popular
language
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, with its share increasing to 35%. The proportion of
students
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 speaking French declined to 10%,
while
Linking Words
 the percentage of German speakers stayed constant at 10%. The figures for
students
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 speaking two other languages and another unspecified
language
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 remained stable at 15% and 10%, respectively.
Overall
Linking Words
, the data indicates a growth in multilingualism among
students
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, with Spanish gaining more popularity,
while
Linking Words
 fewer
students
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 chose French as their additional
language
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, language with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportions" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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