IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You recently heard about some new jobs at a local department store. You would like to work there. Write a letter to store manager of the department store. In your letter -Explain how you heard about the job -Describe the kind of job you would like to have - Give details of your experience and qualifications Dear Sir or Madam,

#jobs #department #store #work #manager #-explain #job #-describe #qualifications #sir #madam
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Dear Sir or Madam I, Ms Jones, am writing to inform you that I am keen on working at your department
store
. I recently heard about some job opportunities in your newly inaugurated
store
 at Charles
street
Capitalize word
Street
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 from my acquaintances. In order to confirm about the job opportunity, I visited your shop yesterday to acquire more details. I am aware that you will require a cashier at the billing counter for your
brand new
Add a hyphen
brand-new
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store
. I am highly interested in working at
this
 post. I would like to mention that I stay in the same locality as your
store
 at a 10 mins walking distance. Owing to
this
, there will be no issues of working till late
night
Change preposition
at night
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. I have completed my higher school, after which I pursued my graduation in Finances from
University
Correct article usage
the University
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 of London. I have worked as the chief cashier at the Nike
store
 in Adam’s mall for 4 years.
However
, as
this
 is too far from my residence, the travelling was quite exhausting and I was unable to wait till the
store
closes
Wrong verb form
closed
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 which led
disputes
Change preposition
to disputes
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 between
my
Correct pronoun usage
me
show examples
 and my employer. Please find attached a copy of my resume
along with
this
 letter. Hoping to receive a positive response from you. Yours faithfully, Ms. Jones.
Submitted by vaishnavivardekar2209 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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