IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You have lost something on a bus and called customer service to get help. You weren't happy with their response. Write a letter to the bus company manager. In your letter, you should: • describe the item you lost • explain why you weren't happy with the customer service • say what action you would like the company to take. You do NOT need to write any addresses.

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Dear Mr. Phillip, I am writing to share my dissatisfaction about a bad experience I faced yesterday when I called your
customer
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 care number to complain about a lost item. For your information, it was my money bag containing all my valuable documents and identity cards which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are

It seems that the verb is does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 missing from your bus as I had a trip from Dhaka to Chittagong by your bus yesterday. After the incident, I immediately called your
customer
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 care number and the response was really poor which is a matter of shame. Since I had no other options, I immediately called your
customer
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 care number.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the call was picked up after several attempts and a rude voice asked me about my issue. I was explaining my problem politely but he was not interested in listening to my complaint clearly. Rather, he accused me of not being concerned about my goods and told me he could not do anything for me.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, he finished the call suddenly and kept me silent on the other side. I was truly astonished at
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 and became speechless.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is my request to you to give concern on my situation and take proper steps to find my product as soon as possible. I can provide you with more details if you ask me during the search work.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I would request you to do a proper investigation against the
customer
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 representative who attended my call and take action after the investigation as that kind of misbehaviour is not good neither for your
company
Change noun form
company's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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 reputation
or
Replace the word
nor

It appears that or may not be the right word for this context.

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 for the clients. I am looking forward to receiving a positive response from you soon. Yours sincerely Shoaib

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task achievement
Consider adding a brief introduction in your first paragraph to explicitly state the purpose of your letter.
coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your points in a more structured way to improve flow, for example, by explicitly separating your description of the lost item and your dissatisfaction in different paragraphs.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is appropriate and respectful, which is crucial in a formal complaint letter.
coherence and cohesion
You provided specific details about your experience with customer service, which helps clarify your concerns.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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