IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently had a positive experience at a department store where a staff member was vey helpful to you. Write a letter to the store manager. In your letter, Mention which part of the store you visited Describe how the staff member assisted you Suggest what would you like the manager to do to reward their good services.

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Dear Sir, I hope you are doing well. I have been a regular and
local
Correct your spelling
loyal
show examples
 customer of your electric shop for the past 2 years. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to
appreciate
Verb problem
thank
show examples
 one
your
Change preposition
of your
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staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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 and his name is
sandy
Capitalize word
Sandy
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. I have been constructing an apartment for
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 two years. So, I buy most of the electricals goods from your shop.
However
Linking Words
,
last
Linking Words
 week I visited to electric appliances part which is situated
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
third
Change the article
the third
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 floor. I have encountered some issues in selecting the appropriate
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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 and
sandy
Capitalize word
Sandy
show examples
 helped me to select the best appliances
depends
Wrong verb form
depending
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 on my
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, he is very polite and
knowledable
Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
knowledgable
in
Change preposition
about
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 electrical appliances.
Additionally
Linking Words
, he even suggested
me
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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install
2 ton
Add a hyphen
2-ton
show examples
Change preposition
of spilt
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spilt
Correct your spelling
split
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 AC
for
Change preposition
in
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 my living room. Before that, I have no idea about Air conditioners. I kindly request you to provide him
some
Add the preposition
with some
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 incentives to enhance his good work.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, rewards help him to update his knowledge
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 might increase your sales. I am looking forward to your prompt attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 his rewards. Yours faithfully, Santhoshkumar

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Grammar
Ensure clarity in your sentences and use correct articles (e.g., 'an electric shop' instead of 'electric shop').
Content
Provide more specific details about the staff member’s assistance to strengthen your appreciation.
Structure
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea for better coherence.
Tone
Your letter has a polite and respectful tone which is appropriate for this type of communication.
Task Achievement
You clearly mentioned your main purpose, which is to appreciate the staff member's assistance.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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