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Band 5.5

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison
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The pie charts illustrate the percentage of British students at a particular university in England who were bilingual or multilingual
in addition
Linking Words
 to English, in 2000 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the Spanish
show examples
Spanish only
Add a hyphen
Spanish-only
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 was the most common pupils,
while
Linking Words
 the remaining
groups
Use synonyms
share
Wrong verb form
shared
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar proportion. In 2000,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the Spanish
show examples
Spanish only
Add a hyphen
Spanish-only
show examples
 section accounted for 30% of total responses, with no other
language
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 making up 20%.
French only
Add a hyphen
French-only
show examples
 and
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
language
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 recorded the same points as 15%, and
German only
Add a hyphen
German-only
show examples
 and two other
language
Use synonyms
 students came in
third,
Linking Words
with making up 10%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 2010, the proportion was similar
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the previous level. In terms of
Spanish
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 accounted for 35%, making it the highest section in the graph, followed by another
language
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 at 20%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the remaining
groups
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as French only, German only, no other languages, and two other languages accounted for 10% of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 percentage. In summary,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the Spanish
show examples
Spanish only
Add a hyphen
Spanish-only
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 remained in first place throughout both time periods,
while
Linking Words
 no other
language
Use synonyms
 and French only decreased and recorded
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 points
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
German only
Add a hyphen
German-only
show examples
 and two other
languages
Change the noun form
language
show examples
groups
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words spanish, group, groups, language with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • converse
  • additional languages
  • language proficiency
  • monolingual
  • multilingualism
  • proficient
  • trend
  • significant changes
  • decade
  • notable increase
  • commonly spoken
  • comparison
  • data reveal
  • observed
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