IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that workers like nurses, doctors and teachers do not get enough payment while film actors and athletes get more money than the importance of their job. How far do you agree or disagree?

In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 people
argue
Wrong verb form
have argued
show examples
 that jobs like nurses, doctors and teachers do not get paid enough
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to famous film
actors
Use synonyms
 and
athletes
Use synonyms
. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement for some reasons mentioned in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
workers
Use synonyms
 like nurses, doctors and teachers make a big difference in moving the nation.
Such
Linking Words
 as, teachers being able to teach the next generation and doctors and nurses to help whoever
in
Add a missing verb
is in
show examples
 need.
Secondly
Linking Words
, helping people
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 is not easy being mentally ready
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 to meet and help others. Having a limited number of vacation days is not good for the
workers
Use synonyms
 and it is usually not enough.
Finally
Linking Words
, they are the wheels of every
contury
Correct your spelling
country
, they are needed everywhere in the world. For that, they deserve a raise and
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier times.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
actors
Use synonyms
 and
athletes
Use synonyms
 get paid way
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 much money that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe they do not deserve. Sure they usually make a great way to connect with other people.
For example
Linking Words
, I talk about football
athletes
Use synonyms
 to my brother all the time and famous
actors
Use synonyms
 to my sister. But, they serve way little of an impact to be deserving of
this
Linking Words
 amount of money for just being famous. In conclusion,
workers
Use synonyms
 with
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 important jobs do not get paid
as well as
Linking Words
actors
Use synonyms
 and
athletes
Use synonyms
. the impact of some
workers
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 great for not giving it attention enough unlike
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 for just being more famous. I hope the government tries to fix what
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to be fixed.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your main idea in the introduction. This helps the reader understand your position better.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words (like 'firstly', 'secondly', 'finally') to make your essay flow better and show the connection between ideas.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or details to support your main points. This will make your argument stronger.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion about the topic, which is important in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is present, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • discrepancy
  • healthcare professionals
  • societal well-being
  • market-driven
  • compensation
  • underpaying
  • equitable
  • reflective
  • consequences
  • demand and popularity
  • societal contribution
  • essential workers
  • complexities
  • equitable compensation system
What to do next:
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