IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

A company offers a temporary job with no salary, but it helps you to gain some work experience. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter, -introduce your previous work experience -tell the manager which department you want to work -describe what expectation you have from the job

On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 we need to take into
considerationto
Correct word choice
apply
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consideration
of
Change preposition
apply
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electric cars
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 believed to be oil and gas problem solving solutionssolution. Undeniably, lithium
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is used in batteries for
non gas
Use the right word
non-gas
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cars
Punctuation problem
cars,
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 can cause other issues because it is not
recyclable
Correct article usage
a recyclable
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 material. Strong economies like the
Unitedlike
Check wording
apply
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United States of America or China need to invest more into technological development rather than printing electric cars without knowing what will happen next. On the basis of the above discussion, I believe that
technological
Replace the word
technologically
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 advanced countries
needneeds
Correct your spelling
need
 to invest more into renewable energy rather than exploring undiscovered parts of the world for gas and oil. There is ample evidence suggesting that these natural resources
areit is
Verb problem
are
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 already harmful for our planet
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 better solutions need to be considered.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure every paragraph communicates a single idea.
task response
Expand your introduction and conclusion to strengthen your overall message.
task response
Ensure you use clear and correct grammar in your sentences.
task achievement
You provide relevant points about electric cars and their issues with lithium.
task achievement
You express a clear opinion about the need for investment in renewable energy.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job
  • experience
  • manager
  • company
  • department
  • work
  • skills
  • learn
  • opportunity
  • expectation
  • temporary
  • background
  • interest
  • networking
  • industry
  • understand
  • specific
  • relevant
  • achieve
  • gain
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