IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graphs below show the production of and demand for steel in million tonnes and the number of workers employed in the steel industry in the UK in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The provided line graphs illustrate the
generatin
Correct your spelling
generation
 and request for
steel
Use synonyms
 in
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
 and how many
employers
Use the right word
employees
show examples
 work for
steeling
Correct word choice
the steel
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 industry in the UK
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
full
Correct article usage
the full
show examples
year
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the graph is that there was
considerable
Correct article usage
a considerable
show examples
 fall
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in the production of
steel
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the annual demand of
steel
Use synonyms
 went up significantly
the
Change preposition
during the
show examples
 period in question. Another interesting point is that production of
steel
Use synonyms
 was the
most
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
highest
level
Check wording
apply
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
January and August. Looking at the details, as regards
Amount
Correct article usage
the Amount
show examples
 produced,
steel
Use synonyms
 generation started at 4000
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
January
Change preposition
in January
show examples
, it
experinced
Correct your spelling
experienced
 a sharp climb, which reach to the peak of 5000
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
, after that
despite
Punctuation problem
, despite
show examples
 falling
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to 4000
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Check wording
tons
show examples
 until April. Having remained stable at approximately 4000
million
Use synonyms
 tonnes from April
till
Change preposition
to
show examples
 August.Takings fluctuated at around 4800
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 the figure went down
dramtically
Correct your spelling
dramatically
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 a
trought
Correct your spelling
trough
 of almost 800
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
 until the end of
year
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
steel
Use synonyms
fluctutaed
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the first eight months of the
year
Use synonyms
.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 the
last
Linking Words
 four months of
Use synonyms
year
Correct article usage
the year
show examples
, the figure saw a considerable fall
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to a trought at around 0
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Then
Linking Words
 it recovered to reach 2000
million
Use synonyms
 tonnes in December.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words steel, million, tons, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "considerable" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • trend
  • surge
  • decline
  • plateau
  • rebound
  • demand
  • production
  • employment
  • industry
  • manufacturing
  • output
  • workforce
  • exceed
  • correspond
  • tonnes
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