IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line graph shows the percentages of Australian export with four countries. The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012 Please upload a clear, close-up, and upright image of the graphs/charts/tables/maps. Otherwise, you might get the wrong image description. Image preview...

Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 in
China
Use synonyms
 increased dramatically
while
Linking Words
Japan
Use synonyms
 decreased steadily.
In addition
Linking Words
,
India
Use synonyms
 soared, but the US fluctuated. The line graph shows the percentages of Australian export with four countries. The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012
In
Punctuation problem
. In
show examples
1990
Punctuation problem
1990,
show examples
China
Use synonyms
 was approximately 3%
whilst
Punctuation problem
, whilst
show examples
Japan
Use synonyms
 used to have roughly a quarter.
However
Linking Words
,in
1995
Punctuation problem
1995,
show examples
China
Use synonyms
 started to rise, but
Japan
Use synonyms
 declined steadily. In
the next
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
2005
Add a comma
2005,
show examples
China
Use synonyms
 escalated to about 10%
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
Japan
Use synonyms
 fell roughly 18%.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Punctuation problem
period,
show examples
China
Use synonyms
 soared to roughly 30%,
meanwhile
Correct word choice
while
show examples
Japan
Use synonyms
 diminished to 17%, respectively. The US and
India
Use synonyms
 fluctuated. Until
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
show examples
India
Use synonyms
 was
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
show examples
 out roughly 1%
while
Linking Words
 the US fluctuated.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
time
Punctuation problem
time,
show examples
 the two categories exchanged positions
Use synonyms
India
Punctuation problem
. India
show examples
 outpaced the US in 2010 but declined in 2012
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it was almost 5% at
this
Linking Words
 moment
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 US was over 5%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words china, japan, india with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "soared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 4 times.
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