IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The two bar charts show the percentage of workers in three sectors — agriculture, industry, and services — in Germany, the USA, Japan, and China in 1980 and 2010

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The two bar charts
illustartae
Correct your spelling
illustrate
 the proportion of
workers
Use synonyms
 in three catgaroies
such
Linking Words
 as
aggriculture
Correct your spelling
agriculture
, industry and
services
Use synonyms
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 Germany, the USA, Japan, and
China
Use synonyms
 in 1980 and 2010. The
overall
Linking Words
ratio
Use synonyms
 of
workers
Use synonyms
 in
services
Use synonyms
 was quite balanced in 1980
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 in
2010
Punctuation problem
2010,
show examples
 there was no improvement in numbers. The
services
Use synonyms
 in
industry
Correct article usage
the industry
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 significantly increased in 2010. The
aggriculture
Correct your spelling
agriculture
ratio
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fell in Germany, the USA and Japan
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 only in
china
Use synonyms
 it was
sudden
Correct article usage
a sudden
show examples
 rise in 1980. The
workers
Use synonyms
 in industry in 2010
was in top
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 between 70% to 60%
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
china
Fix capitalization
China
show examples
 it fell
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
below 50%. In
services
Use synonyms
, the
ratio
Use synonyms
 of
workers
Use synonyms
in
Verb problem
was
show examples
 between 40% to 50% in 1980
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 in
2010
Punctuation problem
2010,
show examples
 there was a sudden fall in
this
Linking Words
 category
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it remained below 40%.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 proportion of aggriculture is was only rises in
Use synonyms
china
Fix capitalization
China
show examples
 around 65% in 1980
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
than
Use the right word
then
show examples
 fell in 2010 in 50%.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 other countries
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 category
in
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 between 10% or below the 10%.
To conclude
Linking Words
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
ratio
Use synonyms
 of all three categories of each country
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
 are more
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
 in industrial work.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words workers, services, china, ratio with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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