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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting

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These charts show the number of British students
in
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apply
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who study in some
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
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 in England that are fluent in other languages
regarding
Change preposition
besides
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 English.These comparisons were between 2000 and 2010.The unit is measured in percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the charts that students who speak only Spanish are overwhelmingly the highest range in both
duration
Punctuation problem
duration,
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 as it covers 30% in 2000 and goes up to 35% in 2010.
Whearas
Correct your spelling
Whereas
, students who speak
another
Correct determiner usage
a
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 different language have been noticeably increasing
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 it was 15% in 2000 and jumped to 20% in 2010.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, French remained stable in both years as it slightly decreased in 2010 ,
while
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 German and
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 who speak multiple languages took the smallest place and did not change , it stayed at 10% for each
years
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year
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. The share with no other language
also
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 dropped significantly from 20% to 10%. In conclusion, there is
no
Rephrase
not
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 much difference between each year compared
between
Change preposition
in
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 the charts .
In addition
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,it is apparent that the majority of other language excepting English is Spanish .

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion = part or share
  • accounted for = made up
  • the largest group = the biggest group
  • the smallest group = the smallest part
  • rose = went up
  • fell = went down
  • remained stable = did not change
  • slightly = a little
  • increased from ... to ...
  • decreased from ... to ...
  • was higher than
  • was lower than
  • in both years
  • overall = in general
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