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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many high-level positions in company are filled by men ,even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 60 per cent for women companies shoub be required to allocate a certain percentage if these positions for women. for what extened do you agree with that

#positions #company #men #workforce #countries #cent #women #companies #shoub #percentage
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In several organisations, management levels are often given to males when women account for 60
percent
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per cent
 of the manpower in
first
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 world countries. Due to the imbalance and prejudice in
this
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, I disagree that a certain percentage should be allowed as one should be handed a position based on their merits and capabilities.
Firstly
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,
an
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apply
individuals capabilities should be
assesed
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assessed
 based on their knowledge and
hardwork
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hard work
that is
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 contributed to the organisation and not their gender. If a females
puts
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put
in
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incomparable
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a
the
comparable effort towards a project and
is
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are
 overlooked due to her sex, the unfairness in the system becomes obvious. Women are now empowered to think on the feet and be as
self sufficient
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self-sufficient
 to their male counterparts.
Secondly
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, with the progression of time
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,
 many women have several roles to play. She could be tied down to looking after her family and juggling work at the same time.
However
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,
this
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 does not affect her
drrive
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drive
 and performance at work. The old school thought of women being in the kitchen should be eradicated from
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this generations minds and roles
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the minds and roles of this generation
this generation's minds and roles
 which were once dominated
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apply
by men should be entrusted to women. In conclusion, I believe that giving a higher position should be in line with
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a
the
dedication that a person puts in towards their work and not based on their gender. With equality in the workforce, especially in developed nations, it will encourage women from around the world as they know they would be treated with the same fairness and equality that they deserve.
Submitted by sanjani_basdeo on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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