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Writing Samples /
Band 1

The two figures below show the rate of criminal convictions among men and women of different ages in the UK and the proportion of male and female prison inmates in the British prison system. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#two #figures #show #rate #convictions #men #women #ages #uk #proportion #prison #inmates #british #system #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The two pages show the data of
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of all convictions among two
gender
 of different people ages and
gender
 of
prison
 inmates in the UK. Overall, the
percentage
 of convictions are the highest
gender
 of male which rise rapidly to 16
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 about 20
age
. Another interesting point is
gender
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the gender
show examples
 of
prison
 female stand in the lowest
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Looking at the details, men who make criminal convictions grow rate unpredictably all
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 of
offender
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the offender
show examples
. The
age
 of 10
show
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shows
show examples
 the lowest
percentage
 which is 2
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and the other
age
 of 60 is the same
percentage
.
Female
Fix the agreement mistake
Females
show examples
 grow steadily in all
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 from 10 to 60.
On the other hand
,
prison
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 dominate among
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
inmates which are 96
percent
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per cent
show examples
.
In addition
, the
gender
 of
prison
 female are considerably less
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 male which show the
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 is 4.
Submitted by nurlan32 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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