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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison
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Pie
Correct article usage
The pie
show examples
 chart
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
ratio
Correct article usage
the ratio
show examples
 of
british
Change the capitalization
British
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 at one
untiversity
Correct your spelling
university
Correct pronoun usage
who were
show examples
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 able to speak different languages from 2000 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 have improved their
language
Use synonyms
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 from only speaking to
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
. Pupils have
shows
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 interest study in
spanish
Change the capitalization
Spanish
show examples
 and
another languages
Replace the adjective
another language
other languages
show examples
while
Linking Words
 reduced interest in
frensh
Correct your spelling
french
fresh
. In 2000, there were 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
Use synonyms
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
 were not
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 other
lanugage
Correct your spelling
languages
 that has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
improved st 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2010.
Same
Correct article usage
The same
show examples
 reverse improvement has
found
Add a missing verb
been found
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
the sapnish
show examples
sapnish
Correct your spelling
Spanish
language
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
35 from 30.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, 5% more
students
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 contributed
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 one another
laguage
Correct your spelling
language
 in 2010 compared to 2000 respectively 15 to 20. There is no
differance
Correct your spelling
difference
 found in
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 two other
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 and
Correct article usage
the german
show examples
german
Capitalize word
German
show examples
language
Use synonyms
, both were quite stuck at 10% without changes.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
show
Change the verb form
shown
show examples
 less interest in
Correct article usage
the french
show examples
french
Capitalize word
French
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 as it
droped
Correct your spelling
dropped
down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to 10% in 2010 from 15% in 2000.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, language with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "improved" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • converse
  • additional languages
  • language proficiency
  • monolingual
  • multilingualism
  • proficient
  • trend
  • significant changes
  • decade
  • notable increase
  • commonly spoken
  • comparison
  • data reveal
  • observed
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