This line graph depicts information about how many books were read, in Burnaby public library by male and female, for four years. Overall, the ratio of men rose dramatically throughout the period, whereas the women gradually decrease at the end. According to what is shown, in 2011, women were read more than men between 5000 and 3000 book. Then, in both two years read books were increased by boys and girls. Moreover, the percentage of reading book men grow up quickly until the end However, the women were gradual growth from 2012. In both genders were same number which is 10000 books in 2013. Additionally, the first drop for females started from 2013 to 2014, it went down to 7000. In conclusion, in fact the men overcome women by the number of reading book at Burnaby public library. If females hadn’t fall at the end, they haven’t lost.
#line #information #books #burnaby #library #four #years #ratio #men #period #women #decrease #book #two #boys #girls #percentage #growth #genders #first #drop #females #conclusion #fact #hadn’t #fall #haven’t
This
line graph depicts information about how many books were read, in Burnaby public library by male
and Fix the agreement mistake
males
female
, for four years. Fix the agreement mistake
females
Overall
, the ratio of men
rose dramatically throughout the period, whereas
the women
gradually decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
at the end
.
According to
what is shown, in 2011, women
were
read more than Unnecessary verb
apply
men
between 5000 and 3000 book
. Fix the agreement mistake
books
Then
, in both two years read
books Replace the word
reading
were
increased by boys and girls. Unnecessary verb
apply
Moreover
, the percentage of reading book men
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
up
quickly until the end Change preposition
apply
However
, the women
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
gradual growth
from 2012. Replace the word
gradually grew
In both
genders Change preposition
Both
were
Verb problem
had
same
number which is Correct article usage
the same
10000
books in 2013. Correct your spelling
10,000
Additionally
, the first drop for females started from 2013 to 2014, it went down to 7000.
In conclusion, in fact
the Add a comma
,fact
men
overcome women
by the number of reading book
at Burnaby public library. If females hadn’t Fix the agreement mistake
books
Wrong verb form
fallen
fall
Wrong verb form
fallen
at the end
, they haven’t lost.Submitted by hanoony86 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "depicts" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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