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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the amount of money spent on books in Germany, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The line graph shows how much was spent in US dollars on books in four European countries between 1995 and 2005. Overall, people in Germany spent the most on reading materials during the entire period. It is also clear that despite some fluctuations, spending on books increased in all four places over the 10 years. German expenditure fluctuated between around $80 million and about $90 million between 1995 and 2003 before increasing to just under $100 million in 2005. France was the only country that experienced a steady rise, with around $55 million worth of books sold in 1995, about $70 million in 2001, and finally just under $80 million in 2005. The figure for Italy hovered at around $50 million dollars until 1999, when it steadily rose to just over $60 million in 2005. Austrians spent approximately $30 million in 1995, and this went up by around $10 million over the next four years and remained stable for two years, before it climbed dramatically to just above $70 million in 2005.

The graph below shows the amount of money spent on books in Germany, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The line graph shows how much was spent in US dollars on books in four European countries between 1995 and 2005. Overall, people in Germany spent the most on reading materials during the entire period. It is also clear that despite some fluctuations, spending on books increased in all four places over the 10 years. German expenditure fluctuated between around $80 million and about $90 million between 1995 and 2003 before increasing to just under $100 million in 2005. France was the only country that experienced a steady rise, with around $55 million worth of books sold in 1995, about $70 million in 2001, and finally just under $80 million in 2005. The figure for Italy hovered at around $50 million dollars until 1999, when it steadily rose to just over $60 million in 2005. Austrians spent approximately $30 million in 1995, and this went up by around $10 million over the next four years and remained stable for two years, before it climbed dramatically to just above $70 million in 2005.
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The line graph illustrates the sum of US
dollars
Use synonyms
 spent on books in four European countries between 1995 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, people in Germany spent most on reading materials during the
10
Add a hyphen
10-year
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 period. All countries showed an upward trend except Italy, where males and females spending money on books
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuated throughout
10
Correct your spelling
the 10-year
year
Use synonyms
 time period. In Germany, the expenditure
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
steadily
increadsed
Correct your spelling
increased
 from $80
million
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dollars
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 to $90
million
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dollars
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 in 1995 to 1999 and there was a gradual decline from 1999 to 2003,which resulted in a decrease from $90
million
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dollars
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 to $85
million
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dollars
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.
However
Linking Words
, in the
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2003 to
2005
Add a comma
2005,
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 there was a significant growth from $85
million
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dollars
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 to $95
million
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dollars
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. Austria started off very low in the
year
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 1995, which was around $30
million
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dollars
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 and it continued to
rose
Wrong verb form
rise
show examples
 to almost $40
million
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dollars
Use synonyms
. In 2003,Austria
surpass
Wrong verb form
surpassed
show examples
 Italy leading to over $60
million
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dollars
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 and significantly increased to $71
million
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dollars
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. Italy had
variation
Fix the agreement mistake
variations
show examples
 from 1995 to 2005. Italy was around half
Use synonyms
million
Correct article usage
a million
show examples
dollars
Use synonyms
 and went up to around $56
million
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dollars
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. From 2001 to 2005 Italy rose steadily,
however
Linking Words
, it was
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
low compared to other countries. France has steady growth from over half a
million
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dollars
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 to around $75
million
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dollars
Use synonyms
 during the
10
Add a hyphen
10-year
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 time period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words dollars, year, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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