IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The two figures below show the rate of criminal convictions among men and women of different ages in the UK and the proportion of male and female prison inmates in the British prison system. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

#two #figures #show #rate #convictions #men #women #ages #uk #proportion #prison #inmates #british #system #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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A glance at the graphs reveals a considerable difference between
men
Use synonyms
 and women in their percentage in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison
as well as
Linking Words
 the criminal convictions, Both males being higher, in the United Kingdom.
Overall
Linking Words
, Prisons are mostly occupied by
men
Use synonyms
,
similarly
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all ages commit more crimes than women,
Linking Words
this
Correct word choice
and this
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 is more significant in their
20's
Change noun form
20s
show examples
. Taking 2% of all crimes in
10 year old
Add a hyphen
10-year-old
show examples
 children, The figure rapidly climbs to a peak of 16
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 when they are 20 years old,
this
Linking Words
 number
then
Linking Words
 sees a consistent decline afterwards to 2
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 60. Starting with 0% in 10 and peaking in 20, criminal convictions
then
Linking Words
gradully
Correct your spelling
gradually
decreasee
Correct your spelling
decrease
decreased
decreases
 to 0 again, when they are 60.
Men
Use synonyms
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 up 96
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
prison
Correct article usage
the prison
show examples
popultion
Correct your spelling
population
populations
while
Linking Words
 women
taking
Verb problem
make
show examples
 only 4%. one noticeable
feauture
Correct your spelling
feature
 is that trends of how
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of
crimiminal
Correct your spelling
criminal
convitions
Correct your spelling
conditions
change
Change the verb form
changes
show examples
 in relation
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 age have striking similarities between both genders.
Submitted by soroush.nezami on

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Clarity
Ensure clarity in presenting data and analysis. Distinguish between different data sets and clarify relationships.
Structure
Remember to use paragraphing effectively to separate different points and to structure the overall response.
Vocabulary/Grammar
Consider using a wider range of vocabulary and grammatical structures to enhance the quality of your writing.
Content
You effectively summarized the main trends and differences between males and females regarding crime rates and prison populations.
Introduction
Your essay starts with a clear overview of the data, effectively setting the stage for more detailed analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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