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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table chart illustrates the number employees and manufactures in both England and Wales from 1851 to 1901. Overall, the numbers of employees were dwindling whilst factories' numbers stayed roughly the same over the fifty-year period. Looking in closer detail to the table, it can be highlighted that the number of employees in 1851 was worth 477 100 for a total of 225 factories with a majority of males. A decade later, the number of factories jumped slightly to 227 with a noticeable decrease of employes, mainly composed by females, who represented 160 000 workers versus 131780 male workers. In 1871, the number of manufacturing facilities lifted overwhelmingly up, to nearly 3 times higher, with a steady decline for the employees’ number. However, men are this time more represented in the workers. This trend will continue until 1891, when the number of factories moved down from 721 in 1881 to 625 one decade later. With less workers and more males than females, the quantity of factories arrived to a point of 600 factories in 1901, involving a bottom of 61 000, concerning the total employee number. To conclude, we can say with confidence that throughout the second part of the 19st century, the number of factories increased with a significant decrease in the number of workers, no matter they are males or females.

The table chart illustrates the number employees and manufactures in both England and Wales from 1851 to 1901. Overall, the numbers of employees were dwindling whilst factories' numbers stayed roughly the same over the fifty-year period. Looking in closer detail to the table, it can be highlighted that the number of employees in 1851 was worth 477 100 for a total of 225 factories with a majority of males. A decade later, the number of factories jumped slightly to 227 with a noticeable decrease of employes, mainly composed by females, who represented 160 000 workers versus 131780 male workers. In 1871, the number of manufacturing facilities lifted overwhelmingly up, to nearly 3 times higher, with a steady decline for the employees’ number. However, men are this time more represented in the workers. This trend will continue until 1891, when the number of factories moved down from 721 in 1881 to 625 one decade later. With less workers and more males than females, the quantity of factories arrived to a point of 600 factories in 1901, involving a bottom of 61 000, concerning the total employee number. To conclude, we can say with confidence that throughout the second part of the 19st century, the number of factories increased with a significant decrease in the number of workers, no matter they are males or females.
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The table chart illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
employees
Change preposition
of employees
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 and
manufactures
Replace the word
manufacturers
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 in both England and Wales from 1851 to 1901.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of employees were dwindling whilst
factories
Use synonyms
' numbers stayed roughly the same over the fifty-year period. Looking in closer detail
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the table, it can be highlighted that the
number
Use synonyms
 of employees in 1851 was worth 477 100 for a total of 225
factories
Use synonyms
 with a majority of males. A decade later, the
number
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 of
factories
Use synonyms
 jumped slightly to 227 with a noticeable decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
employes
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
, mainly composed
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 females, who represented 160 000
workers
Use synonyms
 versus 131780 male
workers
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. In 1871, the
number
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 of manufacturing facilities lifted overwhelmingly up, to nearly 3 times higher, with a steady decline
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the employees’
number
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, men are
this
Linking Words
 time more represented in the
workers
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 trend will continue until 1891
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when the
number
Use synonyms
 of
factories
Use synonyms
 moved down from 721 in 1881 to 625 one decade later. With
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
 and more males than females, the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
factories
Use synonyms
 arrived to a point of 600
factories
Use synonyms
 in 1901, involving a bottom of 61 000, concerning the total employee
number
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, we can say with confidence that throughout the second part of the
19st
Change the ending
19th
show examples
 century, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
factories
Use synonyms
 increased with a significant decrease in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
workers
Use synonyms
, no matter
they
Correct word choice
whether they
show examples
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 males or females.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, factories, workers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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