IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

Better paid
Use the right word
Better-paid
show examples
 jobs are mostly given to men in well-off countries, even when more than half of the workforce is represented by
women
Use synonyms
. Allocating a fair
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
females
Use synonyms
 into these
positions
Use synonyms
 should be compulsory.
This
Linking Words
 essay totally agrees
wih
Correct your spelling
with
 the statement because with a measure like
this
Linking Words
, employees will be given the same job opportunities and
women
Use synonyms
 will be encouraged to ask for promotions. Allocating a portion of the
women
Use synonyms
’s workforce to
high salary-level
Correct word choice
high-salaried
show examples
positions
Use synonyms
 ensures that employers treat all employees fairly.
That is
Linking Words
 to say that allowing more ladies to be in charge creates equality within the company, thanks to males and
females
Use synonyms
 having similar prospects of climbing up the
hierarchy
Check wording
apply
show examples
career ladder and growing their careers. In Spain,
this
Linking Words
 has been the case, as
due to
Linking Words
 some changes in the law, now
companies
Use synonyms
 are forced to give job
positions
Use synonyms
, which had the tendency of being exclusive for men, to
women
Use synonyms
.
Women
Use synonyms
 will be more prone to strive for a promotion if
companies
Use synonyms
 give them the chance
of doing
Change preposition
to do
show examples
 so.
Females
Use synonyms
 are hesitant to ask for better jobs and salaries
as a result
Linking Words
 of the
business’
Check wording
business’s
show examples
 board not supporting them
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 getting
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
positions
Use synonyms
; all they see is their men colleagues
been
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 promoted even though they are as well prepared as them. If they are now given the opportunity to have their desired job, they will certainly
aimed
Wrong verb form
aim
show examples
 for that.
For example
Linking Words
, in America, some chief executives in streaming
companies
Use synonyms
 like Disney+ or Amazon Prime Video are
Use synonyms
females
Check wording
women
show examples
. In conclusion, obligating
companies
Use synonyms
 to reallocate female
worforce
Correct your spelling
workforce
 to better
positions
Use synonyms
 is essential to establish a sense of equality in the office and helps to build
women
Use synonyms
’s confidence to ask for these
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of jobs.

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grammar
Fix spelling and small grammar mistakes to make the writing clear.
structure
Plan each part: one idea in each paragraph; have a clear start and end.
coherence
Use simple linking words to show how ideas go from one to the next.
content
Try to show more view and balance; not only one side.
lexical
Choose the right words; avoid long or hard phrases that sound odd.
content
You show a clear view of the topic.
content
You use examples to back up your point.
structure
There is a short conclusion that restates the view.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gender diversity
  • Affirmative action
  • Meritocracy
  • Quotas
  • Glass ceiling
  • Legal enforcement
  • Tokenism
  • Voluntary measures
  • Career progression
  • Representation
  • Workforce parity
  • Backlash
  • Historical imbalances
  • Corporate governance
  • Inclusive practices
  • Boardroom dynamics
  • Gender norms
  • Unconscious bias
  • Regulatory frameworks
  • Corporate ladder
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