IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

1. Bar Chart: "Expenditure on Fast Foods by Income Groups, UK 1990" This chart compares the weekly expenditure on three types of fast food (Hamburgers, Fish & Chips, and Pizza) across three income groups (High, Average, and Low). High-Income Group: The highest expenditure is on hamburgers (just above 40 units), followed by pizza and fish & chips, both of which fall in the 15–20 unit range. Average-Income Group: Hamburgers lead the spending (around 32 units), followed by fish & chips (25 units) and pizza (approximately 12 units). Low-Income Group: The highest expenditure is on fish & chips (around 17 units), followed by hamburgers (around 14 units), and pizza, which has the lowest expenditure of the group (approximately 7 units). 2. Line Graph: Fast Food Consumption Trends (1970–1990) This graph illustrates the consumption patterns for the same three food items over a 20-year period. Fish & Chips (red line): Shows the fastest and most significant growth. Consumption started at less than 100 units in 1970 and rose sharply to reach 500 units by 1990. Hamburgers (blue line): Shows a steady upward trend. Expenditure increased gradually from near-zero levels in 1970 to approximately 280 units by 1990. Pizza (green line): This is the only item that showed a decline over the period. It started as the most popular item in 1970 (around 300 units), but consumption fell to 200 units by 1985, followed by a slight recovery to approximately 220 units by 1990.

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The chart demonstrates the amount of money per week spent on fast food in Britain.
Overall
Linking Words
, significant changes can be seen in these charts, in the bar
chart
Punctuation problem
chart,
show examples
 the high
income
Use synonyms
 group purchase more hamburgers,
while
Linking Words
low
Correct article usage
the low
show examples
income
Use synonyms
 buy
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
 rather than
pizza
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in the line graph,
Linking Words
Although
Fix capitalization
although
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 at the beginning
pizza
Use synonyms
 represent decline, it
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 a slight increase.
Hamburber
Correct your spelling
Hamburger
 and
fish
Use synonyms
 with
chips
Use synonyms
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
 the upward trend over the period. In the bar chart, in
1990
Punctuation problem
1990,
show examples
high
Correct your spelling
high-income
income
Use synonyms
 expenditure bought
hamburger
Check wording
hamburgers
show examples
 and
pizza
Use synonyms
 with
the
Check wording
percentages of
show examples
 just over 40 and nearly 25% percent,
while
Linking Words
 in the average
Use synonyms
income
Add a comma
income,
show examples
 it was considerably lower at the percentage of 25% and approximately 10%, respectively. Turning to the low
income
Use synonyms
Fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
 was the biggest expenditure
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 the percentage of about 15%. Turning to the line graph,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 1970 the money spent on
pizza
Use synonyms
 was 300
pound,
Correct word order
pounds; however,
show examples
however
Linking Words
 in the second half of 70s it showed
marginal
Correct article usage
a marginal
show examples
 decline by approximately 100
pounds
Use synonyms
(from 300 to
nerly
Correct your spelling
nearly
 200
pounds
Use synonyms
). In
1970
Punctuation problem
1970,
show examples
 the rate of
hamburger
Check wording
hamburgers
show examples
,
chips
Use synonyms
 and
fish
Use synonyms
 was nearly 90
pounds
Use synonyms
 and 30
pounds
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 in the following years they showed
considerable
Correct article usage
a considerable
show examples
 rise,
fish
Use synonyms
 &
chips
Use synonyms
 and
pizza
Use synonyms
coverge
Wrong verb form
converged
show examples
 in the
1980
Check wording
1980s
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
 in
1985
Punctuation problem
1985,
show examples
pizza
Use synonyms
 represent minor rise. By
1990
Punctuation problem
1990,
show examples
fish
Use synonyms
 &
chips
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 500
pounds
Use synonyms
 and hamburger was nearly
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
300
pounds
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words income, fish, chips, pizza, pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represent" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "considerably" was used 2 times.
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