IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You saw an advertisement for a job opening as a customer service representative at a local company. Write a letter to the hiring manager expressing your interest in the position. In your letter, include: Your relevant experience and skills Why you are interested in this job Your availability for an interview

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Dear Mr Smith, My name is Stefanni Mauren, I am writing to apply to be a customer service representative
in
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at
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 BYD company, as advertised. I believe I am well-suited for the job and would like to share my qualifications with you. I took my communication degree for my
bachelor
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bachelor's
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 degree and I graduated from
University
Correct article usage
the University
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 of Indonesia in 2020. I worked as a public
relation’s
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relations
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 staff for two years and experienced handling complaints or organizing social events in several ways. I am eager for
this
Linking Words
 job because I have the capability to communicate especially with the consumers, and
Linking Words
additionally
Add a comma
additionally,
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 I like working in a team and collaboratively fulfilling the goals. I believe that I can make a positive influence on the team and
fast
Verb problem
adapt
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adaptively
Rephrase
quickly
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with
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to
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 the task I am employed. Thank you for considering my application. I look forward to the opportunity to discuss
this
Linking Words
 position
further
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 through an interview session. I am available for the session from Monday to Friday
in
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during
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 any office working hours. Regards,
Stefanni
Correct your spelling
Stefani
 Mauren

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task response
Consider adding a specific example or achievement from your previous role to highlight your experience further.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly separate your points in paragraphs to enhance readability.
positive feedback
Your enthusiastic tone and clear expression of interest in the position are commendable.
positive feedback
The inclusion of your educational background adds credibility to your application.
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