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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The two bar charts show the percentage of workers in three sectors — agriculture, industry, and services — in Germany, the USA, Japan, and China in 1980 and 2010

The two bar charts show the percentage of workers in three sectors — agriculture, industry, and services — in Germany, the USA, Japan, and China in 1980 and 2010
The two bar charts show the percentage of
workers
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 in three sectors —
agriculture
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, industry, and services — in
Germany
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, the
USA
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,
Japan
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, and
China
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 in 1980 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, in 1980 and 2010, most people in
Germany
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, the
USA
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, and
Japan
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 worked in the service
sector
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,
while
Linking Words
 in
China
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, the majority were employed in
agriculture
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. Over time, the number of agricultural
workers
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 in
China
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 fell,
while
Linking Words
 employment in industry and services increased. In 1980, very few people in
Germany
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, the
USA
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, and
Japan
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 worked in
agriculture
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, with figures below 10%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, almost 70% of Chinese
workers
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 were in
this
Linking Words
sector
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. The service
sector
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 was the largest in
Germany
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, the
USA
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, and
Japan
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, employing about half or more of the total workforce. The share of industrial
workers
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 was between 25% and 40% in these three countries. By 2010, the service
sector
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 became even more dominant in
Germany
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 and
Japan
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, reaching around 80%. The
USA
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 stayed quite stable at about 70%. In
China
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,
however
Linking Words
, the proportion of people in
agriculture
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 dropped sharply to about 50%,
while
Linking Words
 the percentages for industry and services rose to around 30% and 20% respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words workers, agriculture, germany, usa, japan, china, sector with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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